Erma Bombeck

Today I’m going to share from one of Erma’s books:  Forever, Erma which I purchased several years ago.  If you remember her, then you will love this excerpt.  If you’ve never read her writing, I hope you’ll add her to your “must find” list.

Kids:  Life’s Greatest Mysteries–July 29, 1975 pg 41  “My goodness, the children have only been out of school for six weeks.  Time flies when you’re under sedation, doesn’t it?  As I was hiding from them in the backseat of the car just last week, it occurred to me that I don’t know children at all.  I’m raising three of them, and yet they remain one of life’s greatest mysteries. . . .  It puzzles me how a child can see a dairy bar three miles away but cannot see a 4-by-6 rug that has scrunched up under his feet and been dragged through two rooms.  Why is it a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home yet eat six of them two hours later at 50 cents each?  How come I can trip over a kid’s shoes under the kitchen sink, in the bathroom, on the front porch, under the coffee table, in the sandbox, in the car, . . .but we can never find them when it is time to cut the grass? . . .  I’ll never understand how a child can’t even find his English book when it is under his right hand but can find his mother hiding out in the backseat of a car.”





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